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Burying a bull next to the property line

When I was District Attorney, I handled a lot of different cases.
I was aware that two farmers who lived east of Ardmore, were bitter enemies but since they each lived on 20-acre spreads, I didn’t worry about it.
I started worrying when one of the farmers burst into my office one day demanding to file charges against his neighbor. It took me several minutes to calm him down.
“I demand that you file charges against that bastard who lives next to me! I voted for you! Now do your job!”
“Bill, what happened?”
“He buried a 2,000 pound bull right next to me! Used a front end loader! Dug a hole, put the bull in it, and then just threw a few shovel full of dirt on top of it and then left it for me! I want him in handcuffs! Summer’s coming; we’ll have to move!”
“I better go see it. I’ll follow you.”
I went to the scene and found that Bill’s house was about 50 feet from a barbed wire fence and sure enough I saw a mound of dirt where the bull was buried. I could see his head and tail sticking out of the mound. I could just imagine how a north wind would cause a major stink to make Bill’s life miserable.
I went to visit Bill’s neighbor. He came to the door with a huge smile on his face.
“Jack, why’d you do that? You committed a crime; I can arrest you for that!”
“I didn’t commit no crime, Mr. District Attorney! And I remind you that I voted for you! My old bull is on my property!”
“Yeah, and state law says you have an obligation to bury animals in proper form; deep enough to be sure that there’s no odor or there’s leakage into the water tables.”
By now I was losing my temper. I looked Jack in the eye and said:
“Jack, I’m coming back here tomorrow afternoon with the Sheriff. If that damned bull is buried on your property far away from Bill’s property, then nothing will happen. But I’m giving you a clear warning: If you haven’t reburied that bull and smoothed the spot next to your neighbor, you’re going to jail!”
I then left in a huff.
The High Sheriff and I went back to the two properties and sure enough, Bill’s property was clear and even. I looked west of Jack’s house and saw a large mound of dirt, far from his neighbor to the south.
Election Day came about; I drove by the two properties and noticed my opponent’s signs in front of both Bill and Jack’s properties.
-james a clark


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